Tag Archive for: mental health

Child safety: Why talk to kids about abuse?

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An average five-year-old knows that putting a hand in the fire is painful. The child understands it is dangerous even if they have never experienced a burn. Why? Multiple adults and older children have warned them about the dangers of fire, which keeps them safer. The same holds for child abuse. Children are less likely to be victimized when caring adults teach them about abuse (Findelhor, D. & Dziuba-Leatherman, J., 1995).

If education is a critical component of abuse prevention, why is it missing in many churches and schools? The topic is difficult to broach with children, and it can lead to hearing discomforting stories from students.

Some people believe that Christians are immune to this sin. The Bible shows us this is a false view of the impact of sinful human nature in our struggle against sin. For example, although the Bible calls Lot a man of faith, it also records that he offered his daughters to the mob men in Sodom. Can you imagine his daughters’ fear when they heard their father invited those men to do with them as they pleased? Emotional abuse is as damaging as physical abuse.

Even the possibility that child abuse and neglect could happen in our schools and churches or among our families should compel us to teach our children about abuse. The loving way to help children is to provide education about it. This gives them the tools to understand what is and is not okay, no matter what an adult tells them.

Abuse education signals to children that they have an adult who will listen and believe their story and don’t need to “keep a secret.” Those stories are the only way for children to get help and stop the abuse. They need powerful allies who will speak and advocate for them.

Many good educational programs are available to give children age-appropriate skills and keep them safer. They incorporate training for parents so that parents practice with their children. These programs teach children in a non-threatening way, opening the door for continued discussions.

Abuse prevention starts with teaching children to protect boundaries for body safety, recognize trouble and move away from it, and get help from adults in power. It allows you to change a child’s life.

Finkelhor, D., & Dziuba-Leatherman, J. (1995). Victimization prevention programs: A national survey of children’s exposure and reactions. Child Abuse & Neglect, 19(2), 129–139.

We recommend these programs for teachers and parents:

Freedom for the Captives, part of WELS Special Minisitries, seeks to empower the Christian community to respond with excellence to the sin of child abuse. To this end, we provide resources to pastors, teachers, and lay Christians that will deepen their understanding of child abuse and improve the Christian response to the physical, emotional and spiritual impact of maltreatment. We also have resources for survivors including recommended readings and guidance in selecting counseling or other services. In addition to the resources on our website, we also offer direct assistance to individual survivors who may have a spiritual question not addressed on our website or who need assistance in finding a counselor.

Learn more at freedomforcaptives.com.

 

 

Do not Despise a Little One

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See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:10.

When Jesus urges us not to despise the little ones, he is advocating that we listen to children, keep them safe, and support them spiritually when they have been harmed.

When it comes to child abuse, though, the signs are all too easy to ignore. A child’s voice is often disregarded or not believed. Why?

No children in my church have abusive families

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, last year about one in seven children experienced abuse and neglect. One in seven. Like all sin, this one does not stop at the church doors.

I have not seen any kids with bruises

The number one type of abuse is neglect, the failure to meet a child’s basic physical and emotional needs. This include providing adequate housing, food, clothing, education, and access to medical care.

Neglect looks like “Tommy,” a child in my first-grade classroom. Tommy always had body odor, his teeth were all silver because of extensive tooth decay, and he reported going to the bar his parents owned after school. Tommy was neglected, and he needed someone to intervene. You have children like Tommy in your church. Find them.

I don’t want to cause trouble in the family

I felt this way once, too. It comes from good, but misplaced, intentions. Our responsibility lies with the child’s well-being, which means abuse must be reported to authorities. They have the knowledge needed to investigate and address any family interventions needed. Reporting is a loving action. It ensures that children are safe, and it may provide parents with additional resources they need.

God has blessed you with resources to help. Here are some steps a church can take, along with resources to help you get started.

  • Talk about abuse – frequently. Define what abuse is and its effects. Condemn it as a sin. Children and adult survivors need to hear that abuse is not okay and that the church has safe adults for them. The Freedom for the Captives website has information about abuse.
  • Mandatory Reports. Make reporting abuse a non-negotiable expectation for all called workers and volunteers at the church. Be clear with all parents and guardians that this is a policy at your church or school.
  • Start creating a child safety policy. A child safety policy is your plan for keeping children safe while they are in the care of the church.
  • Refer survivors to resources. Victims of abuse, including adult survivors of child abuse, may need additional help with community resources. The local domestic abuse shelter has free information. The Freedom for the Captives website has spiritual and factual information as well as information about Christian therapists.

Become familiar with abuse, its effects, and how to prevent it. Encourage children to have a chance to speak to safe adults who are ready to listen and believe. Do not despise the little ones; make them feel welcomed and help them be safe in their church.

By Michelle Markgraf

 

Freedom for the Captives offers resources for congregations and schools to assist them in identifying and addressing suspected child abuse. In addition, resources are available to help those who have experienced abuse.

freedomforcaptives.com

 

 

A Radical Change for the Better

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Can 40 days change your life or the life of someone you care about? Absolutely! If God is there.

The First 40 Days is a new devotion book from Conquerors through Christ, the WELS Special Ministry dedicated to helping Christians fight against porn and for godly sex. This book invites you on a 40-day journey that can bring you to a whole new place where the good news of God’s saving grace generates potent motivation for change, a place where Satan’s lies lose their power and God’s law becomes a trustworthy guide.

Will this trip be easy and enjoyable? Not likely. Make no mistake, it ends in joy, but fighting sin and Satan is never easy or fun. Porn use is addictive and undoing the damage often takes time, effort, and counseling. And remember, this is an invitation to the first 40 days. Defending God’s design for sex is a lifelong battle, but many who have traveled this road have found that in God’s time, they arrive at a place where they genuinely enjoy God’s breathtaking gift of sex.

The First 40 Days devotional is also helpful for people who don’t use porn. The devotions encourage those who have been hurt by the actions of someone using porn. Those who seek to help someone they know will gain insight and understanding into the struggle. We are all seeking a life that trusts God’s promises and rejoices in his ways regardless of all the false messages sent by the world. The path to rejoicing includes rejecting Satan’s lies about the short-term pleasure, learning to resist temptation, and finding ways to recover from the wounds inflicted by oneself or another. Your path just might start with The First 40 Days.

More than anything, The First 40 Days brings God’s precious Word into everyday life, where the day-to-day struggle can be overwhelming. On every page, you’ll meet Jesus, our 24/7/365 Savior. His promises apply to every detail in our lives, and they never fail. So whether your struggle is with porn itself or forgiving the person whose porn use has hurt you, on every step of your journey, Jesus is there to forgive us, pick us up, dust us off, and give us his own heart to love those around us. Every. Single. Day.

Download a copy of The First 40 Days.