Relationship and past sins
Hi, I have a question that I've been ashamed to ask a pastor in person. I've been living with guilt for the past few years, and it's gotten to a point where it's controlling my life and my emotions. Reason being: I've been dating someone for eight years, but in the beginning of my relationship I cheated on him. I know he would never do that to me. I also know I would now never do that to him. I have not yet accepted Christ into my heart, but I'm working on it. Once and if God forgives me, will he be able to wipe off my guilt? Also, is "adultery" in the Bible only referred to as cheating in a marriage? Or also a relationship? I'm afraid of the consequences, even though I have proven to God that I've changed through repentance, and actions. Lastly, I have not told my boyfriend because I know he will not forgive me, and I don't want to lose him. Please do not make me consider this option because I will not do it. I don't want to lose him for something I did in the past, knowing I am a completely different person now. What should I do? Best regards.
To begin with, the Bible teaches that we cannot accept Christ into our hearts. By nature, all people are enemies of God because of sin and unbelief (Romans 8:7), spiritually blind to the truths of God’s word (Acts 26:17-18) and spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:1). People naturally lack the power and desire to approach God in faith. Conversion to the Christian faith is entirely the work of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:3).
God’s forgiveness, including the guilt of our sin (Psalm 32:5), is enjoyed through Spirit-worked Christian faith. God’s forgiveness is complete.
God’s will is that people avoid sexuality immorality (Exodus 20:14; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). That command covers single and married people.
When we do the wrong that God forbids and fail to do the good that he commands, we confess those things to him, knowing and trusting that we have full and free forgiveness of sins (1 John 1:9).
I can understand your reluctance to speak to your boyfriend about the information you have shared with me. On the other hand, you might want to consider what impact there could be on your relationship if your boyfriend were to learn of that information from other sources than from you. Confession and absolution can be powerful dynamics in a relationship. If you choose not to speak to your boyfriend about the information you have shared with me, trust in God’s declaration of forgiveness and do not let the memories of past sins rob you of Christian joy and peace.