When a father dies suddenly, leaving behind a wife and three daughters, all with college education and a long history of participation within the church and being confirmed in the church, is it common for the pastor and then the rest of the church to completely abandon them? Is it because as women they don't have any power/vote in the church that they are basically useless?
One can see pain and hurt in your words. I extend my sympathy to you in your loss. More than that, I want to remind you of the daily meaning Easter has for Christians like you. Because Jesus lives, those who believe in him have life eternal, even though they experience physical death (John 11:25-26; 14:19). May God always be a refuge and strength for you and your family.
I, of course, do not have any information that might explain the reaction of others to your loss. Unfortunately, when death takes place, sometimes people—even Christians—do not know what to say. And so, rather than risk saying something wrong, they say nothing. That is not helpful, as your words indicate. Sometimes the best and the most Christians can do initially for a fellow Christian who has experienced the death of a loved one is simply to listen. In addition, they can point grieving Christians to the comfort of God’s word.
The reaction of others to your loss certainly does not change your status with God. As a child of God, God’s love for you began in eternity (Ephesians 1:4). His love brought you into his family (1 John 3:1). His love means you will enjoy a perfect and glorious eternity (Psalm 23:6). God bless you and your family.