Marriage situations
Scripture indicates the only allowable reasons for divorce are infidelity and abandonment/malicious desertion (Matthew 5 and I Corinthians 7). However, what would be the Lutheran view of situations where the spouses were pressured into getting married by their parents or other authority figure, or situations where the couple married in desperation, such as cases of premarital pregnancy or to get away from an abusive parent? I am also aware of situations where one spouse deceived the other, either directly or by lying through omission, about important issues like a large debt or a prior STD, and the deceived spouse would not have married the other spouse if they knew all the information before they got married. I Corinthians 7:15 mentions abandonment by an unbeliever as grounds for divorce and I Corinthians 7:39 seems to indicate that we have free will in choosing whom to marry, but I am wondering about cases where there was either dishonesty or manipulation by one of the spouses prior to marriage, or serious pressure to marry from parents or elders. Would you be able to recommend some Scripture passages or biblical principles that could be applied in such cases? Thank you.
I have to say that you would be better served by asking specific questions of one of our pastors. That face-to-face forum would enable you to provide context and additional information for your questions.
What I can do is pass along general information on some of the issues you mentioned. This information is from The Shepherd Under Christ: A Textbook for Pastoral Theology.
“Inherent in a valid promise [marriage vow] is that it is given willingly. Although Scripture does not address itself to this point directly, it is evident that the leaving of father and mother and cleaving to one’s spouse according to Genesis 2:24 is a voluntary action. Rebekah was asked about her willingness to leave her homeland and family in order to marry Isaac (Gn 24:58). A pastor will not solemnize a marriage where coercion is in evidence. State laws permit an annulment of a marriage if force or coercion were present at the time of the marriage ‘unless the marriage has been confirmed by the acts of the injured party.’ Whoever subsequent to the coercion that forced him into a marriage practices marital privileges voluntarily is viewed as thereby giving his willing consent. What constitutes coercion the state laws may well determine. When coercion can be proved, the church too can acknowledge this as evidence that no valid marriage bond came into existence.
“Deception, or fraud, is an impediment to a valid marriage promise. Such deception may involve the essence of marriage itself (e.g., known impotence or known sterility) or related matters (e.g., claiming a particular social or financial status). What turns out to be a mistaken judgment about a spouse’s wealth or beauty or desirable qualities cannot subsequently be called fraud.
“…Since fraud used in securing a promise nullifies one’s obligation to it, state laws permit the annulment of marriages that came into existence through deception. The church may acknowledge such an annulment without expressly requiring it. Continued voluntary practice of marital rights after discovering the fraud validates the marriage vows and removes the right to annulment.” (Pages 268-269)
Again, your best course of action would be to ask one of our pastors to respond to your specific questions.