Concern for daughter
My grown child is stumbling greatly in her faith. Though I understand that God predestines some for heaven and does not do the opposite, I find myself stumbling in my prayers for her. I'm afraid that if she wasn't chosen for heaven, my prayers for her are useless. How can I accept his will, if that means my daughter will be in hell? At the same time, I know God doesn't want anyone in hell. I find myself going in circles. What should my prayer be? How can I be at peace about this?
Because I do not know many of the details of your situation, I hope my response will be applicable.
A starting point is that faith is strengthened through word and sacrament. Is your daughter in touch with God’s word? Is she attending worship services? Are there Christian influences in her life? If the answer is “no” to any of those questions, that is something for you to address with your daughter. Also, please don’t underestimate your own Christian example and influence.
Regarding your prayer life, keep praying for your daughter. None of us can peer into the heart of another person. Pray that your daughter sees life and uses life the way God has intended, and that she uses wisely the time of grace God has given her.
Jesus certainly cares about those who stumble in the faith. In his gentle treatment of people during his earthly ministry, Jesus fulfilled the prophet Isaiah’s words about him: “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” (Isaiah 42:3: Matthew 12:20). Jesus does not want to snuff out faith that is flickering; he wants to fan it into flame. But that’s where the Bible and the sacrament of Holy Communion enter the picture: the Lord strengthens faith through his gospel. That’s why you want your daughter to be in contact with the gospel in word and sacrament.
Be reminded that faith in Jesus saves. The weakest of Christian faith saves. That’s because salvation does not depend on the strength of our faith. Salvation depends on the strength of our Savior, and there’s no one more powerful than him. He has defeated sin, death and hell for all, including your daughter.
Be reminded also of God’s general promise: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
You would benefit from having a conversation with your pastor. Do contact him. God bless you and your daughter.