What is the appropriate Christian response to a friend or family member who is pregnant outside of marriage (whether planned or unplanned)? The friend/family member intends to raise the child, and is by all accounts excited to have this baby. I know this child is a gift and blessing, but I'm having a difficult time knowing exactly how to respond in a loving way that doesn't condone the premarital relations.
Your words demonstrate well that you have appropriate concern for the situation. You are seeking to differentiate between the mother and her actions, and the baby.
What I do not know—and perhaps you do not know either—is whether there has been pastoral care involved in this situation. Have confession and absolution taken place? If they have, that can make your conversation more comfortable in the sense that you do not need to initiate subjects of sin and forgiveness in your conversation with the mother.
In all situations, we do want to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). With this situation, you would do well by spending a good deal of time listening to this friend/family member. Her words will give you direction for your own. Baptism plans for the baby would be an important part of a conversation with the mother. God bless your words and actions.