Judging and rebuking
My question is about the difference between "judging" and "rebuking." Whenever I tell someone, for example, that it is wrong to live a homosexual lifestyle, or that it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage, I always get the response,"Don't judge." Then I'll cite references from the Bible that clearly state that these actions are wrong. I'll then get the response, "The Bible also says you shouldn't judge other people." Now, I realize that Matthew 7:1 says "Do not judge." But we, as Christians, also have the responsibility to rebuke people, out of love, for their wrongdoings and lead them on a righteous path. I believe that by telling people of their wrongdoings, as a part of an effort to lead them to a righteous lifestyle, that I am doing the right thing. So what exactly does it mean to "judge"? At what point does my loving rebuke become a sinful judgment?
There are several things to consider with your question.
Rather than seeing a wide divide between judging and rebuking, there is some overlap. Jesus said, “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them” (Luke 17:3). How do I know if someone has sinned? I have to make a judgment, don’t I? I have to compare what a person said or did with God’s word. That is a judgment, an outward judgment, and the kind we are to make.
Jesus also said, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you” (Matthew 18:15). Again, a judgment of the person’s action needs to be made.
It is clear that Jesus did not forbid all judging. He forbade hypocritical judging (Matthew 7:1-5) and judging of the heart: one’s motives and one’s thoughts.
When we do rebuke others out of love, it is not uncommon to hear that person respond by saying, “Don’t judge. Jesus said you are not to judge.” That inaccurate response can be a defense mechanism whereby the person being rebuked tries to blunt the message of God’s law and uphold a view toward life that is different from God’s.
Incidentally, when people counter your rebuke with a “Don’t judge.” response, they are judging. They are judging what you said with an inaccurate idea they have about the Bible. Their judgment is that you are in the wrong. You are not.
A simple answer to your question is that a loving rebuke becomes a sinful judgment if your rebuke is in any way associated with the attempt to judge another person’s heart.
You may be interested to know that I did answer a similar question in a “Light for our path” column. This link will take you to the column.
Continue to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Do that so others may hear the truth of God’s word, believe the truth through the power of the Holy Spirit and then live the truth.