I won’t say how long ago Philippians 4:4 became the self-proclaimed theme for our wedding day, nor do I relish sharing the reason for that choice: I planned that our future would certainly overflow with the double happiness—lots of babies and lots of easy pregnancies—that this verse seemed to promise.

Pretty shallow thinking, right?

October is “Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.” I know many women are very aware of the deep sorrow caused by miscarriage and infant loss. I am one of them.

Even if you haven’t experienced pregnancy loss yourself, you’ve perhaps comforted a friend who has, or you’ve experienced loss in different ways—the heartache of wayward children, the emptiness of infertility, or the quiet loneliness that seeps into earthly life.

That’s why this passage from Philippians is not only a great message for happy times but also a great comfort during seasons of trial.

Do you see it? Our joy is in the Lord.

I began to realize this when my husband and I suffered a miscarriage a few years into our marriage. There is nothing “happy” about the loss of a precious child, yet as a result, this hidden blessing was revealed: the reminder that this life isn’t all there is. Through Jesus and the forgiveness he won for us, God has given us a home in heaven. True joy is found only in him.

In love, God may allow—or even send—more testing.

“Rejoice in the Lord always.”

Two years later, God blessed us with Madeline Grace. She lived 48 minutes on this earth.

“I will say it again: Rejoice!”

One year later, Lydia Grace was born. Within the hour, God took her home to heaven as well.

It’s a hard truth: Our earthly trials—even a series of gut-wrenching, face-planting troubles—are often God’s gift to bring us closer to him. With loving purpose, God rearranges our priorities and leads us to the true and lasting joy found only in him. He draws us closer to his assurance of grace. He patiently opens our eyes to the real joy he offers.

Philippians 4 points us to a loving God who wraps his arms around his children during every trial: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

In and through Christ, we have not only the gift of eternal joy but also a peace that surpasses all understanding. May God grant you double portions of his joy and peace as you cling to him through every trial!