Wording of marriage promises
I've read through some of the marriage rites performed by the WELS church. I was wondering if there are any options that do not include the word submit? Or if couples may write their own vows and have them approved by the pastor? Also, if a husband and wife are not in compete agreement on all religious doctrine (specifically two or three very small interpretations), can they still come together before God in prayer, or do the WELS fellowship beliefs not allow this?
If you plan to be married in one of our congregations, you want to speak to the pastor of that congregation about your questions that concern the marriage promises. It could be that he uses the order of service from Christian Worship: A Lutheran Hymnal; he might use another order of service.
If he uses the order of service from the hymnal, it becomes very clear what “submit” does and does not mean. The part of the service that precedes the marriage promises states: “The pattern for Christian marriage is the intimate union of Christ and his Church, which the apostle Paul depicts in Ephesians 5. After urging believers to ‘submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,’ he makes this application for Christian spouses: ‘Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her.’ It is reverence for Christ on the part of husband and wife that lays the foundation for Christian marriage.”
Those words illustrate what “submit” is all about. In love, Christians—men and women—submit to one another. While our sinful nature can rebel against putting other people first, our new self delights in doing that. In love, Christians—men and women—submit to Christ. Again, while our sinful nature rebels in putting Christ first, our new self delights in doing that. When we submit to Christ, it means that we look to him as our loving leader. Similarly, wives look to their husbands as the loving leader of their marriage. At the same time, God looks for husbands to love their wives with a sacrificial love patterned after Christ’s love for the Church.
As to your last question, when people have a common faith, then they can express their fellowship by praying and worshiping together.
Again, you would do well to address your questions to one of our pastors.