Parental struggles

I have a struggle as a parent. I, like Paul, find myself doing what I do not want to do and not doing what I want to do. I find complete forgiveness and love in Christ. When I fail I run to the cross. In his forgiveness I strive to live each day better than the day before. Sometimes I do, but often I fail. The struggle I have is feeling guilt over the consequences of my sins on my family. I tend to get stressed out and lose it with my children. Often I lack the patience I should be displaying and my children need. We have a large family, so often there is conflict taking place within it. I know I am forgiven for the time I act out of anger or frustration, but I also realize that this behavior may leave lasting marks on my children's mental health. I find myself praying this prayer, "Lord, help these children turn out well, despite my parenting mistakes." I know my sin is forgiven, but how can I find comfort when dealing with the earthly consequences of sin?

To me, your prayer illustrates a good understanding of our human frailties and limitations on one hand and God’s unlimited power and love on another hand.

You understand well how confession and absolution fit in with your relationship with God. What I do not know is to what degree confession and absolution are part of your family’s interaction with one another.

The Bible tells us: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other…” (James 5:16) When we have wronged other people, we certainly want to confess our sins to God, but we also want to confess our sins to the people we have wronged. Here is where I could see the importance of confession and absolution in your family. Family members can be drawn closer together in the bond of love when they confess their sins to one another and forgive one another.

If you are concerned about “leaving lasting marks” on your children’s lives in a positive way, one of the best things you could do for them is modeling the Christian faith in the areas of confession and absolution. Your children will learn a great lesson when you have reason to say to them, “You know, kids, we are all the same in God’s eyes. We are sinners who have been forgiven by God. We all sin in different ways every day. Try as I might, I fail in my efforts in being the best parent I can be. Please forgive me for _______. With God’s forgiveness, I want to do better in being his representative in your lives.” Christian families can experience the “joy of salvation” (Psalm 51:12) again and again when parents and children engage in heartfelt conversations of sin and forgiveness.

As you go about your parenting responsibilities, take heart in the fact that God works through imperfect people. In spite of our mistakes and sins, God can carry out his good and gracious will in the lives of others—including our children. The truth of Romans 8:28 applies even to your parenting skills.

Finally, I don’t know if you are aware of a resource for parents through Forward in Christ. It’s “Heart to Heart Parent Conversations.” This link will take you to the site. God bless you and your family!