Not married

In 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19 we read about the gift of continence. How does one know if one has this gift? I am single and so far all my attempts to find a life companion have failed. Would this be an indication that I should turn my mind to choosing to "live like an eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven"?

In 1 Corinthians 7 the apostle Paul expressed gratitude that God had gifted him with the ability to have self-control in sexual matters and not “burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9).  For that reason, Paul explained that the single life suited him well.  For others who did not have that gift of self-control, he saw the benefit of marriage, furnishing opportunities for sexual intimacy to take place without sin being involved.

Do you have that gift, you wonder?  You have to ask yourself how content you are with your present circumstances.  You have to ask yourself to what extent, if any, sexual temptations confront you and how you deal with them.  The apostle Paul made it clear that the single life he experienced was not for everyone.  For those who do not have self-control in sexual matters, he advised marriage.

There is so much about your situation that I do not know—your age being one of the most important pieces of information.  I say this only for information’s sake:  I know individuals who did not marry until later in life—some in their 50s.  They were content with their lives apart from marriage and were not going to marry just for the sake of being married.  I commend them for that attitude.  When we recognize that God’s design for marriage is to be a lifelong union, we do best in being very deliberate in how we approach it.

Your questions definitely deserve a fuller and more personal response.  For that reason I would encourage you to speak to your pastor about these matters.  God bless you.