Marrying outside the faith

Good questions – and I’m glad the teen asked them. I would offer a response by first underscoring the nature of marriage and the importance of having unity of faith and fellowship with a spouse.

According to God’s design, marriage is a union between one man and one woman. In marriage two people become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5). In marriage two people become one physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Marriage becomes a team of two people intimately joined together.

In the areas where husband and wife become one, their spiritual oneness is most important. Can there be happy and “successful” marriages, humanly speaking, when husband and wife are not united in faith? Certainly. But something is definitely lacking in a marriage when husband wife are not united in faith. (1 Peter 3:1-6 addresses how Christian wives can best treat their husbands who are not united to them in the Christian faith.) Conversely, there are great blessings in marriage when husband and wife are united in faith.

With your particular questions in mind, I would encourage the individual from one of our congregations to remain with his/her church and not join the spouse’s church. Husband and wife would most likely wind up attending their own church. That is hardly an ideal situation. The situation becomes even more challenging if/when God blesses them with children. Now, in which faith will their children be raised?

We can help our youth today greatly by emphasizing how important it is for husband and wife to be united spiritually. That means that we encourage our youth to talk about faith and church affiliation when dating. That means that we encourage our youth to put “oneness of faith” at the top of a “what is important in a spouse” list.

God bless your conversations with the teen who asked you these questions. You both may want to know that there is worthwhile reading material on this subject from Northwestern Publishing House.