Marriage service promises
I am in a serious relationship with a WELS man and we have been talking about marriage. I was raised Catholic but identify now as Christian. I do not want to become a member of WELS, but I don't have a problem having a WELS ceremony. However, does a WELS wedding require the verse about being an obedient wife? Is there any other verse about marriage in the Bible that can be said? I make my own money, I make dinner, I shop, I do everything a man does and I make decisions with my man as an equal and that is not what that verse seems to convey I should be doing. I really do not want this verse read, as it would be a broken promise to God.
The order of “Christian Marriage” in Christian Worship: A Lutheran Hymnal contains this preface to the marriage promises made by the bride and groom:
“The pattern for Christian marriage is the intimate union of Christ and his church, which the apostle Paul depicts in Ephesians 5. After urging believers to ‘submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,’ he makes this application for Christian spouses: ‘Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.’ It is reverence for Christ on the part of husband and wife that lays the foundation for Christian marriage.”
The wording of the marriage promise by the bride is: “_____, will you take _____ to be your husband? Will you be guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and submit to your husband as the Church submits to Christ? Will you be faithful to him, cherish him, support him, and help him in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?’ If so, answer, ‘I will.’”
The word “submit” can be greatly misunderstood. It can seem that it is demeaning, degrading and insulting to submit to another person. That misunderstanding is removed when we keep in mind the context of God’s instructions for Christian wives: “As the church submits to Christ…” There is nothing demeaning, degrading or insulting when we, the members of the Christian Church, submit to Christ. Submitting to him means we have an attitude of recognizing his loving leadership in our lives.
And, just to complete the picture, the husband is asked in his marriage promise: “_____, will you take _____ to be your wife? Will you guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and love your wife as Christ loved the Church? Will you be faithful to her, cherish her, support her, and help her in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, answer, ‘I will.’” The husband to whom the wife submits is promising that his love for his wife will be like that of Christ’s: sacrificial.
It is clear that the marriage promises between husband and wife are based on the loving relationship between Jesus Christ and the Christian Church.
The WELS church where your marriage service could take place may use this order of service, with this wording, or it might utilize something similar. You would want to contact the pastor of that church regarding the order of service and the wording of the marriage promises.