Marriage and lust

Matthew 5:28 says that if you look at a woman lustfully, you commit adultery with her in your heart. But what about when it comes to your spouse? Can you look at or think about your spouse lustfully without sinning? Would it not be considered adultery because you are married to that person? Is it somehow apart the unity of marriage (two becoming one flesh)?

God designed sexual relations for the marriage bond (Hebrews 13:4). The verse that you cited from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount speaks of sinful thoughts toward a person who is not part of the marriage bond.

With your questions in mind, it could happen that a person’s thoughts of his or her spouse could distort God’s design for marriage, in that the person views his or her spouse simply as a sex object. 1 Corinthians 7 teaches how husbands and wives are to view each other and themselves when it comes to their sexual lives. As in other areas of married life, selflessness is the key: we put others first in life.