What is a customary gift ($) for a church and or pastor for performing a wedding, baptism, funeral, etc.?
That is entirely up to the people who receive those services of a pastor. As a parish pastor, I was happy to tell people that the congregation called me to perform services like these and honoraria were not necessary. Much more often than not, the individuals still wanted to express their appreciation for my time and effort and so gave a gift of their choosing. It was also my experience that some funeral directors provided guidance to families regarding an honorarium they could give their pastor.
So, it is entirely up to people what they would like to do when they receive personalized service from their pastor. Pastors are happy to serve.