I am interested in how to more openly discuss with my daughter who says that she is a lesbian on how it is not right in God's ways. She shuts herself down to us most of the time and says that we do not love her. We have tried to make it known to her that we do still love her but we are not able to accept her lifestyle.
“Tell the truth, actively love, point to a loving Father, offer hope, affirm gender.” Those are the headings of an article that can give you some guidance in speaking with your daughter. The article is one of many good resources you will find on the website of Christian Life Resources, a WELS-affiliated ministry. Perhaps you can share the resources with your daughter and agree to have a conversation on the contents of the resources.
When you speak with your daughter, do let her know again and again that you are pointing her to what God says in the Bible because you love God and you love her. If you and I did not love God or our family members, we would have little reason to be concerned about what our family members did in life. But because we love God and our family, we will “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) when we see family members deviating from God’s will.
As you speak with your daughter, do be “quick to listen” and “slow to speak” (James 1:19). You will earn the “right” to speak with your daughter as she observes you listening to her.
Beyond the online resources linked above, your pastor can be another valuable resource. He may have materials for you to read and share with your daughter. He can also minister to you as you reach out to your daughter.
Finally, as you are no doubt doing, keep going to God in prayer, asking him to work in your daughter’s heart through his powerful word. Prayer is “powerful and effective” (James 5:16) because God is all-powerful.
God bless you and your family.