Contact with friends outside marriage
Hi, pastor. From a Christian point of view, is it OK for a person (man or woman) to have a friendly relationship (like texting or calling over the phone) with your former boyfriend/girlfriend after getting married? I personally feel like it would lead to sinning and never should have such a relationship behind the spouse's back which would lead to unnecessary suspicions. Kindly guide, and appreciate your response. Thank You!
I remember once reading a person’s humorous explanation as to why the bride and groom extinguish the two separate candles after lighting the unity candle during their wedding ceremony: “That is to signify that there are no old flames.”
When “two become one” in marriage (Matthew 19:5-6), they pledge their faithfulness to one another. I would have to ask what kind of faithfulness it is to maintain the level of contact with a former girlfriend or boyfriend that you describe in your questions. Such contact would present temptations for unfaithfulness and hurt the other spouse.
On a related matter, it is not a surprise to learn from studies that, when the kind of contact you describe occurs on social media, marriages suffer greatly.
When husbands and wives put each other first (Ephesians 5:21-33), a person could say to them, “Hand your cell phone over to your spouse,” and there would be no inappropriate communications on the device. Love for God and love for one’s spouse call for that kind of openness and honesty and faithfulness.
I hope this response addresses your concerns.