Some time later there was an incident involving a vineyard belonging to Naboth the Jezreelite. The vineyard was in Jezreel, close to the palace of Ahab king of Samaria. Ahab said to Naboth, “Let me have your vineyard to use for a vegetable garden, since it is close to my palace. In exchange I will give you a better vineyard or, if you prefer, I will pay you whatever it is worth.” But Naboth replied, “The Lord forbid that I should give you the inheritance of my ancestors.” So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my ancestors.” He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat. When Ahab heard that Naboth was dead, he got up and went down to take possession of Naboth’s vineyard.
1 Kings 21:1-4,16
Squad problems: Jealousy
The Question: My boyfriend/girlfriend is jealous and says things that make me sad and angry. I really care. It will get better, right?
I get why you don’t like jealousy in your life. Sinful jealousy is so destructive. It can destroy friendships, relationships, and overall happiness. Look at the dark path that jealousy led King Ahab down.
Depression, anger, hate, and eventually murder all came from jealousy in Ahab’s heart. I am not saying jealousy will lead to murder, but it clearly leads to nothing good. Jealousy is definitely something you don’t want in your relationships and life.
So here are some godly tips to help suppress jealousy, specifically in relationships.
- Check yourself. Jealousy is wanting something that you do not have. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is getting jealous, it may be a warning that they want something they are not getting from you. If you are giving someone else special attention that should be going to your boyfriend/girlfriend and it is making them jealous, stop it. Dating is practice for marriage. Practice being emotionally faithful (give special attention) to your future spouse by being emotionally faithful to your boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Communicate with each other. If there is jealousy in the relationship, talk to each other. Identify what your boyfriend/girlfriend feels like they are not getting. Take each other’s words and actions in the kindest possible way (Eighth Commandment) and build trust.
- Trust in God. God provides everything you need in a relationship. It’s why he gave his only Son who treats us as if we are his bride! He will provide everything you need—including the right words to say, direction in your life, and peace knowing that he’s got you.
Prayer: My Father in heaven, you are a welcome refuge when I become the victim of my own insecure feelings. Help me to be humble, grateful, and at peace. Make me more like you. Give me grace to smile when I want to cry and to forgive when I want to fight back. As you showed me love in Jesus, help me to live in his love. Amen.