Light for our path: Were Joseph and Mary engaged or married when Joseph learned of Maryās pregnancy?
Were Joseph and Mary engaged or married when Joseph learned of Maryās pregnancy?
James F. Pope
Your question illustrates the need to bridge the culture gap of marriage customs and laws that existed in biblical days.Ā
A marriage established by commitmentĀ
In ourĀ society today, we are familiar with relationships that progress fromĀ friendship toĀ dating to engagement to marriage.Ā Because we are used toĀ this sequence of events, weĀ mightĀ think that people in biblical timesĀ followed the same pattern.Ā That was not the case.Ā
āBetrothal,ā asĀ the termĀ appears in some Bible translations, was not the engagement of our day and age.Ā Betrothal in biblical days was the time when the bride and groom, or their representatives, signed papers toĀ commit themselves to each other andĀ toĀ establish the beginning of their marriage.Ā From that point on,Ā the man and woman wereĀ legally married, butĀ they did not have theĀ right toĀ liveĀ togetherĀ as husband and wife or have sexual relations with one another.Ā They lived separately for a timeĀ until the wedding celebration took place.Ā Then,Ā the man and woman lived together as husband and wife.Ā Jesusā parable of theĀ tenĀ virgins (Matthew 25:1-13) illustratesĀ the interval of time between the beginning of a marriage and the wedding celebration.Ā
When Joseph learned that Mary was pregnant (Matthew 1:18,19), the couple was between the time whenĀ they had established their marriageĀ and before any wedding celebrationĀ was going to take place.Ā They wereĀ legallyĀ married.Ā Only death or divorceĀ (Deuteronomy 22:22-29)Ā could break the bond they had established, and divorce was on Josephās mind.Ā
A marriageĀ rooted in loveĀ
Joseph is the forgotten man in the account of Jesusā birth.Ā In the Bible,Ā Mary receives appropriate attentionĀ as the one whom God graciously chose to beĀ the one to give birth to the Son of God (Luke 1:30-33).Ā But what about Joseph?Ā Ā
WeĀ firstĀ come acrossĀ JosephĀ in the family tree of Jesusā human ancestryĀ foundĀ in Matthew 1:16.Ā We learnĀ thatĀ Joseph came from royal lineage, but we knowĀ little elseĀ about him.Ā We are aware of what JosephĀ was thinking when heĀ realized Mary was pregnant:Ā āBecause Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietlyā (Matthew 1:19).Ā Ā
Maryās miraculous conception by the Holy Spirit put Joseph in aĀ challengingĀ situation.Ā Without knowingĀ about the Holy Spiritās workĀ in Mary, Joseph could only conclude that Mary had been unfaithful to him.Ā If Joseph had wanted to press the issue, the results could have been disastrous for Mary and the unborn child in her womb, the Messiah (Deuteronomy 22:23,24).Ā Love for God and love for Mary led Joseph toĀ pursue a different course of actionāa divorce thatĀ was intended to shelterĀ Mary from publicĀ shame.Ā
GodĀ thwarted that planĀ byĀ directing an angel toĀ inform Joseph in a dream that Maryās pregnancyĀ was the result of the Holy Spiritās work.Ā We see Josephās love for God in his next waking moments:Ā āWhen Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wifeā (Matthew 1:24).Ā The last words of that verse demonstrate that Joseph and Mary were legally married at this time.Ā
JosephĀ was a man who displayed the kind of loveĀ that reflected theĀ love of his foster sonĀ and Savior:Ā āHusbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for herā (EphesiansĀ 5:25).Ā JosephĀ and Maryās marriage was established by commitment and rooted in love.Ā
Contributing editor James Pope, professor at Martin Luther College, New Ulm, Minnesota, is a member at St. John, New Ulm.
James Pope also answers questions online at wels.net/questions. Submit your questions there or to [email protected].
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Author: James F. Pope
Volume 105, Number 12
Issue: December 2018
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