Request for funeral service

Hi. I'll get right to it. My brother-in-law passed away recently. My wife reached out to my church. My brother-in-law believed in God but was not a member. So the pastor was polite but declined to do the funeral, saying he couldn't attest to his character. My wife was highly offended by this. She asked, why does the church seem to snub its nose at people who are not members? Now she is leaving WELS. She says she'll talk to the pastor but only to say that she's leaving.

I can assure you that the church does not look down on people who are not members. The church is interested in reaching out to people with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Let me try to address your situation this way. Our pastors generally officiate at the funerals of church members and also non-members from whom they received a confession of faith during their ministry to them. When one of our pastors receives a request to officiate at the funeral of a person who did not desire the ministry of the church during life, it certainly seems to be consistent with the wishes of that person not to receive the ministry of the church when life on earth comes to an end. If a pastor is not able to officiate at the funeral of someone who was not affiliated with his church or from whom he did not receive a confession of faith, there are ways in which he can minister to the survivors outside a funeral service.

A Christian funeral service is a worship service conducted by the pastor of that congregation. As such, the content of the funeral service reflects the faith that the church teaches and the faith the members profess—especially by their affiliation with the congregation.

Through their calls, our pastors serve as representatives of their congregations. The actions they take reflect on the congregations they serve. Through the decisions that they make regarding funeral service requests, our pastors seek to give the clearest testimony to others of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Through their words and actions, they want others to know that there is salvation only through Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12) and that acknowledging Jesus Christ as Savior is vitally important (Matthew 10:32).

I encourage you to do what you can so that you and your wife have a conversation with your pastor. Do give him the opportunity to explain more fully the reasons behind his decision. I pray that God blesses you and your family with peace, love and harmony.