Marriage in biblical days
Is engagement seen by God as marriage? If not, why does the Bible say Joseph was going to divorce Mary when she was found to be pregnant, even though they were only engaged at that point? Is it sinful to have sex during engagement?
Our marriage customs and laws today are different from those in biblical days. At one point in time, “Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph” (Matthew 1:18). Joseph and Mary had given each other their word, in signed papers, that they would become husband and wife. That action legally established the marriage. That explains why Joseph had thoughts of “divorcing” (Matthew 1:19) Mary when he first learned of her pregnancy.
While Joseph and Mary were legally married by the signing of legal papers, they did not have the right to live together as husband and wife until the time of the public wedding celebration that took place days later.
You can see that our manner of “engagement and then marriage” is different from the customs and laws of first century Palestine.
When a man and a woman in our country become engaged, they are not legally married. States regulate marriage, and the laws of the state need to be obeyed. Sexual activity between men and women is reserved for marriage (Hebrews 13:4). Sexual activity outside the marriage bond is sinful.