My mother is an alcoholic. She has always been emotionally unstable but now her physical health is failing her. We don’t have much to do with each other. She feels like we have a meaningful relationship but I don’t feel the same way. I feel hurt by what she has done to our family. I have recently asked her to abstain from drinking around myself, my husband and my children. I explained to her that I love her but I don’t want to witness her do this to herself anymore. She was upset with this so we haven’t spoken in months. I am afraid she will die not knowing how much I love her. I want to be in her life and I want her in mine. I pray frequently about this issue. Should I just back off and leave it alone or should I be more persistent in trying explain my feelings about the situation to her?
There are important pieces of information I am lacking as I try to respond to your question. I do not know if your mother has sought and is receiving help for her alcohol abuse and failing health. I do not know if your mother is under the spiritual care of a pastor who knows of her condition. If your mother is not receiving physical or spiritual care, do what you can to encourage her to receive the help she needs.
If your mother’s health is failing, your time to speak to her may be limited. She knows of your love and concern from past conversations but reminding her of your ongoing love and concern is important. By all means, tell your mother of your love for her. Reassure her that your love for her leads you to speak openly and frankly with her. Continue to speak the truth in love to her (Ephesians 4:15).
Of utmost importance is your mother’s soul; her relationship with God is vitally important. That is why a pastor’s ministry to her at this time is significant. Don’t overlook the resources your own pastor may have to help you and your family.
Keep praying for your mother. We know from the Bible that prayer is powerful (James 5:16). Prayer is powerful because the One who hears and answers our prayers is powerful.
Do share scriptural truths with your mother. Remind her of God’s love for her (John 3:16). Recall for her the importance of confession and absolution (1 John 1:9 – 2 John 2:2). Point her to God as her refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1).
God bless you and your family!